I'm Moving Now

A step in the right direction.
I have finally gotten back to exercise!  3 - 4 times a week for the past few weeks, about 2 miles each day with Leslie Sansone.  It's a start, a good start and I'm pleased.
I can already see my legs shaping up again (as much as these tree stumps can).  I have enormous legs, always have, always will.  It's just a matter if they are jumbo and jiggley or massive and muscular.  And since I love m&m's I'll shoot for the latter :)

My eating however, although improved still has far to go.  I'm finding on the days that I exercise that my appetite goes through the roof.  I would totally understand if I were training for a marathon, but for 2 miles it really shouldn't make much of a difference.  Still for the most part my choices are improving.

The hubs put the scale away some weeks back and at this point I'm leaving it there.  I think in another week or so I'll pull the monster thing out.

Looking back at pictures from last summer and fall while I was still on track I'm a little surprised at what I see.  I must stress, what I see.  I was eating well, exercising and the scale was going down yet as I look at the photos the words that go through my head are 'Man, even with 40 pounds gone look at how fat you still are!'  Wow! How sad.

I can recongnize that I look happy and I see health when I look into the face on the pictures; but the body... ugh!  And yet here I am with some of those pounds lost found again.  I battle in my mind how hard it was to lose that weight and yet I was (am) still so big.  I'm struggling to remind myself that my body just wasn't designed to be a small designer size, but it certainly was designed to be healthy and that's what I need to focus on.  Health not number (scale or clothes tag).

Hoping to keep my focus on health without worring about where that puts me on the number wheel at this time.  Sometimes I think the biggest battle I have is the image in my head, not the number on the scale.

And My Theme For The Year Is.....

It's that time again.. I can't beleive it.

2010 passed by so quickly and yet there were days I thought would never end.

2010 brought our first ladies retreat at church last January. It brought my first sucessful vegetable garden. A small car accident (but not a small bill to repair scratch!) I saw my niece get married this summer and made my first stacked wedding cake. It was one of the most wonderful summers I've ever had; made wonderful memories with my boys! We went on our first real family vacation. I saw my baby head off to Kindergarten and my older son went to 3rd grade. It was the year my Uncle Kenny went home to be with the Lord. My husband and I celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss!  My Aunt Helen became unwell and now lives in a nursing home/rehab. It was the year I felt the Lord call me into ministry. I lost 40 pounds this year! There were ups, there were downs and lots of twists and turns.

Those of you who have read my blog for any time will remember that each year at this time I choose a word, or theme for the year ahead as opposed to making 'resolutions'. Before I write about 2011, I'd like to think back on my word for 2010. My word for 2010 was FIT. I wanted to 'fit' myself back into my life. I wanted to take myself off of the bottom of my to-do list. I ate better. Tracked my food on SparkPeople.com. I began to exercise (never thought I'd do that). I studied God's word on a more regular basis. I took some time, maybe not enough, but some time, for me.

So now it is time to unviel my word for this year. After thinking over exactly what I want in my mind for several weeks, God has finally delivered my word to me. ACTION! I want to be a woman of action. Woooow, that can sound.. suspect. Let me explain...

So often I think in my mind what I'd like to do. What I should do. What I could do. And yet, frequently, I do nothing at all.

I write lists that never get completed. I start projects that get left undone. I have so many people that I intend to write to and yet....

I've tried to figure out why I do, or rather, don't do these things and the best I can come up with is fear. Fear of failure, of not doing things 100% correct or maybe even just not as well as others.

Self talk ~ "I could write her a note but what if she isn't encouraged by it or what if she doesn't even know who I am?" (I wrote a note to a stranger years ago after hearing her father's prayer request on her behalf. She now goes to our church and she approached me on one of her first visits to thank me.) "I could try to write a children's book but what if it's no good and no one wants to publish it?" (Twelve publishers turned down J.K. Rowlings before one agreed to publish Harry Potter. Besides, shouldn't I at least give them the opportunity to refuse me?) "I feel called by the Lord to be a women's ministry speaker, but what if no one wants to hear me? What if they don't like me? Who am I to speak, I don't have a theology degree?" (Beth Moore doesn't have a degree in theology. Am I not short-changing God if I hear His call but think He doesn't know who He is calling?) "I could apply for that job but the hours probably wont work for our family or I'll most likely be terrible at it." (Who would have thought when I started a temp job when I was 24 that I would become a natural on computers and would then be promoted 3 times in 4 years? Why do I automatically think that I'll fail?)

God tells us in His word over 300 times to "Fear No", yet I've been choosing to disobey Him and fear. Why in the world do I choose the terrible feeling of fear and let it restrict my life rather than choose the security that as long as I'm living in His will He will provide? Silly, right? Right!

Also, the word action has come to me time and time again in studying scripture. In the early fall of this past year the Lord put a speaking topic on my heart having to do with action. If you say you're a Christian, you must take action! I have been writing my first retreat topic based on this. As I write it I find myself saying 'But who is going to want to hear it? You'll write it and then never share it." Wow - some seriously defeated self-talk hugh? Kinda pathetic!! If God is putting the topic of action on my heart, the person who most needs to let that take affect in their life is me!! How can I share it with others and not have it first take root in my own life? Action therefore for me means to stop being held back by fear and getting on with it; whatever the 'it' may happen to be at a certain time.

So this year I will take ACTION!

* I will continue to study and write the talks that the Lord has put on my heart knowing that He will show me when and where I am to share His inspiration. I will proceed with the calling the Lord has put on my heart and go into ministry as a women's speaker.

* I will write the children's stories that are in my mind. I will work on the illustrations and not worry if they will be good enough. They certainly wont be if I don't even try. I want to submit at least one book to a publisher this year.

* I will submit at least one devotional for publication. If God puts thoughts, stories into my mind that encourage me and some of the ladies from my church then I should see if He wishes them to encourage other Christians as well.

* I will put my body into action. I will continue to become a more active person. I will find physical activities the whole family can do together.

* I wont just think about tracking my food, I'll do it.  Even when I don't want to admit to what I've eaten I will put it down to make myself more aware.  Junk in, junk out - if I want to be active I need to feed my body well.

* I will make/buy cards and have stamps available so that when the Lord puts someone on my heart who needs a word of encouragement, I'll be ready to go. No excuses.

* In general, I will not be held back by fear. I will not be recklace, but I will go forth and live my life and not wait things out on the sideline. I'm getting in the game folks so hold on to your hats!!

Ready, set, ACTION!!

Week.. what week is this?

I'm losing count.  What week is this?  Week 47, is that right?

I remember back in January when I first decided to make taking care of myself a priority and in that vien begin this blog I was so gung ho.  I was all about it.  This was it.  In order to do anything else well in life I knew that I needed to take the time to see to my own well-being.
I joined SparkPeople.  I tracked my food and water intake.  I educated myself on good nutrition.  I began to exercise.  Will-power was nothing I even had to think about; I was 'in the zone'!

Well here I am at week 47 and am I still 'in the zone'?  Still?  I've derailed from aforementioned zone often enough to make a pretty pattern on my boarding pass.  At this moment, I'm somewhat in.  Better last week, but not bad this.
I weighed in this morning and I lost a little more.  I lost weight quickly in the first 4 months, then it started slowing to a snails pace.  At first it was just my body doing it's thing, but then it was due to my lack luster effort.  I'd pick it up some weeks and then be a slug the next.
At my best, I had lost 42 pounds.  I'm now at 39.6 pounds lost.

I'm not sure why I lose momentum.  I certainly do not want to put this weight on again, that's for sure.  I was discouraged due to giving it my all and not seeing results.  I wasn't discouraged from lack of speed, it's a life change, not a race.  So why does this happen to me?  It has been the case with me my whole life.  Why?
I tried seeing a Christian counselor several months back with this being one of my big issues I wanted to work out and be done with.  But after a few months, I was leaving the sessions knowing more about her family than what she was hearing about mine and often I felt judged and discouraged by her - so that was that.  It was worth a try, right?  I remember when I specifically brought this topic up and asked her why I can't seem to stick with it - why do I always go back to my unhealthy ways.  She told me to, "Go home and read up on it and tell her next time what I found out."  I did just that with the main point that 'experts' make being that there is an unresolved issue that the obese person knows about that causes this.  I told her, but that's the thing, I don't know.  And that was the end of that.  She offered me nothing!

So why?  Why do I struggle to stay with this when I know it is for the best.  Why could I face what can typically be a huge challenge like Thanksgiving and get through it without a single struggle and then another plain old day I just crumble?

Anyone hear me on this?  Can anyone relate?

Well here's the thing, I'm not quitting.  I'm not giving in.  Week 47, or whatever it is, will not be the last for me.  I want to lose 50 pounds, if I could lose even more, great; but 50 is a must.  There's no race, no time limit.  I want to get that weight off and keep it off. 
I feel like I do many things well.  Good even; but nothing great.  I want to succeed at this.  I need to succeed at this.

I'm not trying to be hard on myself, just honest and real.  This is where I am at week 47.

Here are my goals this week:
Sign in to SparkPeople every morning.
Track my food, even when it isn't all good.
Drink 6 glasses of water a day.
NOT give up!!!

It's time to get my nightly cup of tea.  Good night friends!

PS ~ My 5 year old son chose a slip of paper from the 6 entries into "I AM THANKFUL" who stuck with the challenge.  I'm heading over to verify that they made 26 entries.  I'll announce the winner tomorrow.

November goals and Week 45

Happy November everyone!!

As this month was approaching I was feeling as though I'm in need of something fresh.  No, I'm not typing this with a wink. I mean that I feel as though my blog is stale and that the multitude (ok, 3 or 4) of regular readers may be ready for something new.

This being the month of Thanksgiving, I am going to write about something I am thankful for every day leading up to the holiday otherwise known as 'turkey day'.  Heavens knows that I have much to be thankful for, big and small, and so I will be writing of all of the blessings for which I am truly thankful!

'I Am Thankful For..' Day 1:
Today I will write of that for which I am most thankful (please note, going forward I will not be writing in any order), my Lord and Savior, Jesus.
I am so thankful for Jesus and my faith in Him as it's as much a part of me as my heart, or lungs.  He is a part of all that I do, say, think.  I am of course, not perfect, but even when I fall short, I turn to Him for reproof and restoration.
In good times I know to whom all credit should go (every good and perfect gift is from above) and in bad times He gives guidance, wisdom and comfort as no other (the peace that passes all understanding).
I could truly write pages and pages on why I am thankful for my faith, but I will summarize with this statement:  He is everything to me!  Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Would you like to join me in my "I Am Thankful" challenge?  Look for a post later today!!

Last week was a stressful one.  Stress if part of each of our every day lives though, is it not?  It's all in how we handle it.  I must be honest and confess that for one day I lost it.  By the next day, I was able to allow God's peace to comfort me.  It's not that His peace wasnt there the day before, but rather that I didn't allow it in. (dope!)
I only got in 5 miles of exercise.  But that is better than no exercise so I wont beat myself up over that.  Water, sleep and eating were all... so-so.  Not bad one day, not good the next. 
I've been in such a slump over the last few months.  I don't want to be slumpish any more.  I want to pull it together folks!  My "It's Time" has fallen away from time for me and I'm backsliding into putting me and what is good for my wellbeing into last place once again.  Why do I do this?  Do I find this a 'safe' place to be?  Does putting myself last mean that I don't have to expect much of myself? Hmmm... Makes one think.

Surprisingly, I lost .2 pounds this week.  It's a loss - I'll take it!!  But honestly, not so sure I deserved a loss at all.  Just keepin' it real.

My goals for today: (Because sometimes, that's how we need to roll. Day by day.)

1. Drink at least 4 - 8 oz glasses of water.
2. Exercise for at least 1 mile. (yippee I did 2 miles!)
3. Track and eat within my caloric/fat/protien/carb ranges.
4. Get my quiet time in (time reading God's word and praying)
5. Get to bed by no later than 11:15 pm.

Ultimately, my goals for the month:
1. Post about something I am thankful for each day!!
2. Get my quiet time in at least 5 times per week.
3. Lose 4 pounds (totally realistic!)
4. Exercise at least 3 days a week.
5. Do something nice for myself once a week. Doesn't have to be anything big.

Have a great week everyone!!

Week 42

As I predicted, last week was a hard week.
What else could I have expected really.
But God is good and even during dark times He saw fit to bless me with some bright spots.  To read about one such bright spot, please visit my other blog, ladyofthehousespeaking.blogspot.com/

Although I did eat my emotions 'a bit' this week, I didn't go completely haywire.  And although I did not get in as much exercise as I'd like, I did at least get in 5 miles.  I'm happy that I didn't just totally give in to my feelings and revert back to my old ways.  There's definitely some progress here.  But a few morning when I woke up I could feel the difference as a result of an emotional week.  I've been loving over the last couple of months and really since January, the feeling of waking up and feeling.. well, thinner.  Have a comfortable 'empty' feeling.  Don't know how to explain it really, except to say that after a few days of stress eating I was waking up with a more.. full feeling.  Kind of how I used to wake up every single day; still a little full from all that I ate the day previous.  I now hate this feeling!!  Hate it!!  I'm happy to say that this morning I woke up once again with a more 'emtpy' feeling. Much better!!

I weighed myself on both the new and old scale this morning.  I am eventually going to have to update my weight as I think my old scale has been off a few pounds.  At least having both scales now I am at least able to correctly determine how much I have lost/gained (don't need to blindfold myself and throw a dart).  I have lost 1 pound this week.  I'm very happy with one pound considering all that went on this week.

Thanks so much to all of you lovely folks who have offered your condolences on the passing of my uncle!!  Your kindness is so greatly appreciated!!

My goals this week:
Get at least 8 miles of exercise in.
Drink plenty of water.
Eat healthy.
Get 7 hours of sleep a night.

It's Time to go watch Diary of a Wimpy Kid with the family.
Have a great week everyone!!

Stress Eating

Stress eating!!!

Between my uncle's death and now a very sweet beautiful lady from our church passing I am just not feeling with the program!
I've been stress eating and then as a result of feeling guilty about it I then... yes, eat some more.

I know I need to just give myself a break right now and not worry about it.  But I also do not want to throw in the towel either.  This is a slippery walk.

I will try to make conscious choices and not mindlessly eat.  There's lots to keep me busy and with a sore foot (not sure what I did to it) exercise isn't in the plan right now.  But still, lots and lots to do.
I will try to keep busy so as not to turn to food.

Week 41 ~ This is a tough one

Short & sweet this week folks.  Not so sweet actually.

Surrounded by sadness at the moment.
We have a wonderful lady from our church family who is very ill with cancer.  What a blessing she has been and although we will celebrate her homegoing for her sake, we will miss her!!  Just a matter of time...

My sister-in-law's dad who had a lung removed due to cancer less than a year ago now has cancer in the other lung and it has come back to the cavity where the removed lung had been. Again, a matter of time.

Today, my extreamly funny and very tender hearted uncle has died leaving his wife of 54 years, my aunt behind.  My aunt is not well either.

Life is short folks.  Tell those you love that you love them and tell them often.  If you know the Lord Jesus as your Savior don't be shy in sharing the gift of salvation as you never know who needs to hear the good news and if you'll get a chance to share again.

My heart is very heavy for all of those hurting at this hour.  I am filled with sadness, but also filled with the love of God.  I am so blessed to know him.

All of these situations bring back the feelings of losing my mother 2.5 years ago so fresh to the surface.  It hurts.

Health....

I did great last week. Ate well, did 14 miles of exercise.  The scale is barely budging though.  I am discouraged.  This virtual stand still has been going on for quite some time now.  I know what I'm doing - I know how to live healthy.  I'm eating plenty and eating a balanced healthy diet.  I'm exercising to the point of having sweat drip down me and being out of breath.  There's nothing more I can do.
Maybe this is it.  Size 18 weighing in at... nope, still not brave enough to list the number on the scale.  Maybe this is as good as it's gonna get.  I guess I have to settle for this.  I will keep being healthy but no longer look to and consequently be disappointed week after week at the lack of movement on the scale.  What a bugger!!!

No way to sugar coat it people.  I'm feeling seriously down.  I know it's just for a season though and that I wouldn't appreciate being on the moutain tops if I'm never in the valley.
So I will keep plugging along in this valley knowing that my God is with me and that what's important is that His will be done. Not mine.
Despite the aggrivation, frustration, disappointment and sadness, I will not lose my joy.  For the joy of the Lord will be my strength!!!!

Week 40

Last week was a breakthrough week for me.
I have always struggled with exercise, but I really feel like I've found a good nitch.
Long story short, I did a total of 18 miles with Leslie Sansone! 18 miles!!!
AND, my eating was really good too.
Great eating and exercise week - do I hear the halleluja chorus?!
I sometimes feel a little nervous to be honest, that this will just be a phase.  This fitness won't last.  But I am going to do everything I can to ensure that it is a lasting change and not a passing fad!!

I'm not gonna sugar coat this, when I weighed in this morning I really wanted to kick my scale to the curb!!  According to MY scale, I had only lost a pound. Ok, now before you start singing the praises of a pound, please realize that normally I wouldn't be sad about a pound - but seriously, I think my scale is messing with me!!
According to the scale at the Choose To Loose group I've been going to since the end of August I have lost 6 pounds (not including this week - last weigh in with them was on 9/16).  During that same time (end of August to Sept. 16th) my scale said I had only lost 1 pound??  Now after exercising my butt off (ok, that's an exageration - this girls got back and plenty of it!!!) and eating really well it says I've only lost a pound.  I seriously think it's time I purchased a new scale.  One that wont mess with my head.  I know a scale is not the only measure, but I sure as heck think it's important to have one that is actually in good working order.  I'm really anxious to see what the other scale will say when I go on Thursday night.

Last week I also had the program at church I have been talking about and it was a big sucess!!  Everyone had fun and the gals that did the skit with me were amazing.  The message God had me give went over very well too and we had a woman accept Christ as her savior - Praise God!!!!
I got a call this afternoon as I was rushing to finish my chores and get dinner done early as we had a Scout Den meeting tonight from the president of the women's ministry group of the church I was to speak at on Saturday.  She was calling to cancel the talk.  I totally understood the situation, but I was/am seriously disappointed!!  They may re-book but it wouldn't be until sometime in February.  I'm disappointed both for not having the opportunity to speak to this group of ladies that I have never met as well as the money, to be honest.
I have felt led by the Lord to workin women's ministry almost since the day I became a Christian over 18 years ago.  He has slowly brought me along and I am now feeling like He may be calling me into ministry on a larger scale than just (and I don't mean "just" as a slight) a women's ministry leader at my church.  I think I'm being called to speak and teach.  I had lady after lady come up to me after the event Friday telling my how much I had touched them (I know it was God working through me, it's definitely not me!) and telling me I should be doing this professionally.  I feel as thought their encouragement is affirmation as to what I think the Lord has been trying to say to me.  To all of you praying gals out there, please be praying for the Lord's direction in my life and that I would be sensitive enough to follow His lead!

My goals for this week:
continue to eat healthy
do at least 12 miles of exercise
get all of my water in
daily quiet time

It's time to get to bed!
Have a good week everyone and keep making good choices :)

Week 35

So last night I was thinking (it happens!).. Looking over the past 7-8 months I have come to the conclusion that as the months have gone on I've lost my passion, or it may be more aptly put to say, my direction for my "it's time" life change.


Each year I choose a word or phrase to sum up my goal for the year. This year I had chosen "It's Time". Since becoming a wife and mother the vast majority of my attention and efforts have gone to my husband and boys. Sound familiar anyone? Then with school, Scouts and of course church there was just nothing left for me. I always felt tired and run down. If anyone asked what I wanted, I never had an answer. I never allowed myself to think on my needs or desires. I wanted this to be the year I began adding myself back into the equation.

If I don't take care of myself, how can I do anything else well? If I do not take care of myself I get in the way of what the Lord would have me do. It's easy to confuse selflessness with neglect of oneself. I had in fact been neglecting myself to the detriment of all of those around me; even if they did not realize it. And let me be clear, I did this to myself. No blame game here.

So here I am 8 months into the journey and 40 pounds lighter (yeah!).. But I've become a bit stagnant. The weight isn't dropping off - but hey, I'm not gaining either. I haven't been making any strides toward my goals or improving myself in other areas. Can't say that I've been really spending any time on myself. And what I've been giving to the Lord this summer has really been sloppy seconds at best!

I need a revival!! I need to get out of this funk!! I'm sick of this 'blahhh' feeling. My mind runs at a thousand, no, make that a million thoughts per minute, but it gets me nowhere. I need to focus. I need to write out some new goals.

YES - that's it! I need to rewrite my goals!! Maybe this is something that should be done every 6 months or so. Let's face it, a lot can happen in 6 months and that may be the perfect time to reevaluate where I've been and where I'm going.

There it is. My goal for the week. I will rewrite my goals and objectives through the end of the year. At that time, I'll need to write new goals (and come up with a new word/phrase for 2011).

Have any of you faced this? A season of 'blahhh'. Lost your focus/determination? What helped you to get back on track? Remember, this isn't a race or a diet. This is permanent. A total life change.

It's time to do the laundry. The mountain never lets me lose sight of that task :)

Have a great week everyone!!

Week 33

THANK YOU to all of you for your support and encouragement as I've been battling these last few weeks to not allow myself to throw in the towel. Your encouragement really means so much to me!!

Last week was lots of fun!! We went up to New Hampshire with my sister and sister-in-law to take the kids to Storyland. The drive up wasn't too bad (except for the cramps in my legs as we had to squeeze bags under my legs due to lack of car space), especially by the time we got into the White Mountains (beautiful!!!!!!) ears poppin' and all. The weather was pretty terrific the whole time and even the motel we stayed in was great! (Seriously, a great motel - I can't say as I usually pair those two words together)

Storyland was lots of fun! There's nothing better than seeing your kids laughing and squealing and just having a blast!!! The nice thing for me was that it helped me to get tons of walking in.

The only non-terrific part was my food choices. On one hand, ya it was vacation. But on the other, I still could have enjoyed some treats without going whole hog. And I do mean whole hog!! Take a look at this:

Yup, that's me scarfing down a gallon and a half of ice cream in the billion calories chocolate and nut covered 'cone'. I will say, this was amazing!!!!!! But I felt like I had eaten incredibly delicious lead afterwards. Was it ok to have ice cream? Sure! But did I really need have that much? And the cone.. seriously?? (Ok, it was fabulous!!)

But hey, what's done is done. So what am I going to do to help myself going forward so I can get back on track and stop the whole pointless self-loathing thing? Well I tell ya, I've got a plan!!

My sister-in-law's sister has lost 60 pounds and looks amazing!! She and another gal have started a group that meets for five weeks (meeting every other week) at one of their homes where they have a talk about healthy living and do a weigh in. The cost is a onetime fee of $20. At the end of the 5 weeks cash prizes are awarded for those who have lost the greatest percentage of body fat. So, informative supportive classes and a contest? I'm there baby!! You don't have to follow any special program; it's about learning to lead a healthy life - not dieting (which I am superdeduper against 'diets'). Weigh in is this Thursday. Nervous about getting on the scale in front of someone, but excited to have new motivation!! I'll keep you posted on how it's going.

This week... sigh... I'm still trying to get back to the basics. It's hard quite frankly. It's a busy time of year (she types rolling her eyes knowing how ridiculous it sounds considering the whole summer has been busy). Time to get ready for back to school (my baby is going to Kindergarten and my big guy is off to 3rd grade!), all of the Women's Ministry activities are back in swing (more to come on this), still searching for what the Lord would have me do for work (please continue to pray).... But back to basics it must be!

What did the scale say this week you may wonder... Nothing.. Well actually it said "you stayed the same - try again next week". Ok, not actually. No worries, I don't think the scale is 'speaking to me', but I did stay the same. I'll take it. Better than a gain!

I hope you all have great weeks ahead making great choices!

It's time to get the boys ready and packed for a swimming day at the pool!

Going Down, Down, Down

It has been a downward spiral my friends with an upward climb on the scale.

I DO NOT want this to be like every attempt in the past with it lasting for a bit and then going right back to my old ways and getting bigger than ever!

I want to pick myself back up and not worry about the last few weeks, just look ahead.

I CAN do this!!  I CAN.. And I WILL!!

Lord ~  Grant me the strength to get back to my healthy eating. Help remove temptation and more imporatantly, when temptation arises help me to stand up under it.  Help me to be all that you call me to be.  Thank you Father.    amen.

Argggg..

Struggling.  Totally struggling.
Summer is so great and we're having so much fun - but all of these various activities make it hard to stay on track and simply 'packing a healthy snack' to bring with me just isn't cutting it.  I haven't gone off the deep end, but I'm rambling off the track.
Praying I can pull it together!!... sooon!!
I can do this - I can change to a healthy eating lifestyle while still enjoying a treat time and again (or else it would just be another failed diet) - I can get back into this!!!

Week 26

The heat is here and it brought it's unwelcomed friend, humidity with it!!  Thank you Lord for centeral air conditioning!!  Do I hear an 'amen'?

I plugged along last week but was completely consumed with recovering from one son's party the previous weekend while preparing for a family party on Saturday followed by my other son's birthday party on Sunday.  So sadly, as great as parties are, I allowed the hustle and bustle of cleaning, shopping, cleaning, thank you card writing, cleaning, (you get the idea) to distract me from many of my good habits.  There was no tracking.  There was no excercise (other than all of the running around).  And I squeeked in about 5 hours of sleep a night.

By the grace of God however, I did actually lose a pound this week for a total of 38 pounds lost!!!

My goal for this week is to just get back to basics.
Take the time to log my food.
Stay within my calorie/fat, etc. limits
Make sure I'm getting at least 8 glasses of water a day.
Get at least 7 hours sleep a night.
3 days of cardio (30 minutes each day).

I'm still job searching.  Nothing yet.  I've been spreading the word about my home preschool too.  No bites yet.  Please continue to pray for God's leading and that I would hear Him and follow.  I know I need to wait on Him, but boy, I really don't like being in the 'wating room' I must confess.

I'm looking for a new low cal/low fat desert.  Anyone have any good recipes?  I'll be trying a few out and I'll review them for you with pics.

I hope you all have a good week - keep making healthy choices!!

It's time to switch the laundry over.  Oh, and break up the fight that I hear beginning between my boys.

Starting To Forget

This has nothing to do with health or anything else I need to make time for really....

But last night was a really tough night!!  Today we're having a family party to celebrate my boys birthdays.  So last night, I was working on some of the food.  Specifically, I made potato salad.  My mum's potato salad.

As I chopped the celery and onion, I began to think of the rest of the ingrediants.  "Did she chop the eggs small or leave them in rings?  How much mustard did she put in?..."  My mum was never a cup of this, 2 teaspoons of that kinda lady.  It was more a bit of this and just enough of that.  But I had cooked with her ever since I was young and she had taught me everything.  However as I was working on the potato salad, it hit me.  I'm starting to forget.

Now for those who have never lost anyone close they may say, "Oh it tastes fine, don't worry."  But to those who have, they'd understand that it's not really about the taste, not really any way.  It's the fact that one of the closest bonds I have with my mother is cooking, and if I'm starting to forget her ways in the kitchen, then it's like I'm starting to forget her.

I'm crushed.  I was awake until 1:00 am crying.  I know so many totally can't relate to this, and for this reason I haven't shared it with anyone face to face except one of my sisters and my husband.  But I needed to get it out, so here I am sharing with my faithful followers and any welcomed visitors.  Not that I'm looking for any kind of response.  Just needed to get it out.

Nothing can change the inevitable.  I will forget things.  We all do.  Memories will start to fade a bit with time.  I know I will never forget my beloved mum, but forgetting little things about her is kind of like losing her again.

Sorry for a down message - don't like to post sad things...  Next post will be cheerier, I promise!

I Did!

I really didn't want to exercise this morning.

REALLY!

My bed was so comfy.  The idea of heading down the stairs and turning on the box that would bring forth a very perky Leslie Sansone who will giggle her was through the program was not appealing. (I like Leslie, just not when I'd rather be in bed) 

But I did!!  I've made so many great gains this week, and over the last several months.  I don't want to give in now.  Even as I exercised, I kept thinking, "You don't have to do the arm movements."  But I did!  "Ok, well you don't have to do the whole cool down portion."  But I did!  It felt good to give 110%!!  I'm achy - but I like it!

It feels good to have my cardio in for the day.  That's 165 minutes of cardio this week!  It's going to be nice not to have to whine about not getting exercise in on Mondays post!  How refreshing.

How about you my sister 'losers' - how are you doing with exercise?  What are you doing for exercise?  How do you push on when you just don't feel like it?

It's time to finish making cookies for my son's birthday celebration in school (he's 8 tomorrow!  ugh.. where does the time go?).  Isn't that a kick in the pants... exercise and then fight off cookie batter.  How many calories does that resistance burn?  It should be hundreds!! : )

PS - Totally getting sick of the look of this blog... A new look will probably be coming soon..

Week 22

Do over  -  Do over!!!

Do you ever wish you could just call a 'do-over' of your week?  If it were possible, I'd call one for last week.  However, we do not live on the great kick-ball field of life, so I'll just put on my big girl panties (that are a size smaller thank you very much) and face the music.
Last week was a crazy week (the hubs reroofed our house with help, people in and out - praise God for the help and the good weather) and my diet reflected it.  Let's call it what it is, bad choices.  But I shant dwell on  the past.  No, I shall not.  Rather, let me tell you about how week 23 is starting off...
This morning I popped in my Leslie Sansone tape for the first time in eons.  By 6:45 am I had logged just over 2 miles and had sore thighs to prove it.  Hours have gone by now and I feel great!!  Hoping to do this 2 - 3 more times this week!
I have also tracked my food, something I really avoided last week.  Tracking my food intake is absolutely crutial for me!!!  I love SparkPeople for this (and it's free, holllaaaaaa).  It's so convicting to write in what you have consumed, even when you don't want to admit it to yourself.  Not to mention, it's a great way to track the nutrients you've had to keep your diet healthy.
I am bound and determined to hit the sack by no later than 11:00 pm this week which will give me 7 hours sleep.  Sure, I'd like to say I'll be in bed by 10:00, but who do I think I'd be kidding?  I will resist you my late night friends.  You just keep that adorable Scottish accent to yourself Mr. Ferguson!

Ok, news on the job front.  I recieved a call last week to interview for a church office administrator (part time).  They had recieved 92 resumes and chose 6 people to interview.  This made me feel great!  I went and interviewed on Wednesday and it went great.  I wasn't nervous at all and it felt like I did really well.  This morning I received a message from the pastor that she would like to meet with me.  (The Pastor was to be given 3 candidates to interview and then choose one from the 3).  PROBLEM - After summer child care ($$) and putting our youngest son in full day Kindergarten ($3,200) I would only make about $5,000 for the whole year.... PROBLEM 2 - I am not in agreement with some of the churches theology.  Some think this should not be an issue, but I feel that if it isn't a church I'd attend, then I shouldn't be working there... seems a little hypocritical.  So I'm going to have to call in a bit and turn the position down. : (   I really think I'd enjoy that kind of position.. but the timing and specifics are off.  Please continue to pray that God would either direct me to the right job outside of the home, or that He would bring just the right children into my home day care.

Dum du dum dum.... The scale.  Well, what could I expect really.  I'm up 3!!!!  Ugh!  Oh well.  No worries, I'll make short work of those 3 pounds now that I'm exercising again.

For this week:
Sleep 7-8 hours a night
Track my food!!
Drink plenty of water
Exercise 3 - 4 times this week
Choose to not stress!

I'm a hungry chickie - need to go have my Progresso Soup. Yummm!
Have a wonderful week everyone!!

It's time to eat!

Week 21

.........

Sorry.  The above little delay was due to my doing a happy dance for writing "WEEK 21"!!  I am so proud of myself for heading into my 21st week of healthier living!
It's not been easy - as you've read from yesterdays post.  But there have been so many small victories, only a part of which has been the 35 pounds I have shed thus far.

I already touched on last week yesterday, so let's go straight into this week.  Don't wish to dwell on the past.

Feeling great today!!  Unfortunately, I didn't get breakfast in this morning as I had a super busy morning right from the get-go with lots of places to go and things to get done.  As soon as I did get to stop to eat however, I made great choices.  I started with a Jethro Bodine sized salad with Good Seasons dressing (made light - 1/2 the oil and more water).  Then followed that with two multigrain rice cakes (sounds yummy, eh? actually, they're really good!!) with reduced fat peanut butter and a little jam.  The jam satisfied my sweet craving - bonus!

This whole week is going to be out of the norm.  My husband is stripping and re-roofing our house.  This means kids have to stay in and company will be coming 1/2 way through the week to help.  Good stuff - just different.  But life is never 'status quo' is it?  I have plans for these challenges (feeding people who may not be so stoked about a veggie burger and such) and I'm not the least bit worried.

Visited with the cc today.  It went fine.  I have an assignment for the next few weeks to track what stresses me.  Specifically, to try to be mindful of negative thoughts that run through my head or negative things I tell myself.  Note pad is opened and on the top of my desk.  This should be interesting!  Anyone else out there feeling stressed?  Umm.... may be easier to ask, 'is anyone not feeling stressed'.. right?  She's supposed to give me some strategies that will help.  I'll keep you posted in case anyone else could benefit.

One of the sources of stress is that I've been looking for a job for a few months with no success.  I've been home with my boys for over 6 years.  Trying to return to the work force isn't easy.  I'm looking for specific hours that fit our lives.  But prospective employers aren't impressed with my 6 years out of the office environment even though my computer skills have stayed current.  I've been doing home childcare (licensed) for almost 2 years, but all of my kids go to Kindergarten next year.  Trying to decide whether I should leave the house for work or try to get more kids.  I kind of like the idea of getting out....
Prayer Request: Please pray God will guide me to the right job for me and my family whether it be in or out of the home and that I will have the discerment to know His will from my own.

I have not been exercising at all practically.  I hate this!  I soooo want to change this.  It just seems I'm always too busy.  I need to make a concerted effort to change this.  Dawn - I too wish we lived closer together so we could go walking!!  I need to start a walking club.  But when can I commit to going?  Hmm... seems I've just given myself another assignment.  I like assignments.

Considering my battle with sugar treats last week, I was happy to see that the scale stayed the same this week.  No complaints.  I'd love to see a 2 pound loss next week though. Let's see if I can accomplish that.

Goals for this week, week 21. Ahhh I said it again!!
(every week goals)
drink 8 glasses of water
sleep 8 hours a night
track my food and eat within my ranges
quiet time with the Lord
(added goals)
EXERCISE!  Possibly establish a walking club
paint classroom
clean out boys drawers of winter clothes and add summer ones
do the same for the hubs and I
decide if I'm continuing with childcare next year

Quick shout out to my new "followers" - THANKS LADIES!!!

I hope you all have a great week!!
It's time to start cleaning off my desk.

Thanks 'Timers'

Since I do not have everyones mailing address', I'll put what I would have handwritten in a card for each of you up here on this post.

Dear 'Timer' friends,

I can't thank you enough for your support as I endevor to improve my life, and consequently, that of my family.  Your kind, funny and informative comments mean so much to me!  I really appreciate your taking the time to read through my ramblings and leave feed back.
Many of you have taken the time also to sign on as 'followers'.  Who'd a ever thunk anyone would ever want to 'follow' my virtual scribblings??
This blog has been such a tremendous help to me as I've tried to make many changes, some small, some big, but all of them quite challenging.  But what truely makes this successful for me... What truely makes this such a big piece to my 'healthier life puzzle', is you.  All of you!!!
It never ceases to amaze me that my 'blog friends' (and Spark Friends), many of whom I've never personally met, have become such a big part of my success.  I feel like I have my very own cheering squad!
So thank you for your cheers, hoots and hoooooollllllaaaaaas!  Your support is .....

Blog:  Free money wise, but costs time
Healthier food: $$$
CC fee: $20
Follower & Commenters: PRICELESS!!!

Blessings,
diane : )

How'd You Know?

I've been having a tough week.  Hard to explain why... just has been.

Today, after running to the grocery store to pick up a few things I swung by the post office.  Doing good - this was my third stop this week!  We don't get mail delivery in these here parts and I usually only get to the PO once or twice a week.  Back to the story...
So I went to the PO and amidst all of the bills and junk mail there was a lovely yellow envelope.  Inside was a card.  It's a cartoon of someone climbing up a mountain reaching for a star.  The 'mountain' is seperated into sections each with a saying: "the hard work, the Energy, the Sweat, test of Character, the Heart..the Soul, the Challenge!" The message on top reads "...it's been a big, long climb..."  Inside, the person is atop the mountail holding a flag that says '#1' and now the mountains sayings are: "a true & noble star of life, Wonderful, oh yeh!, way way cool, Hero!, bravo bravo and way to go!"  The message inside - "& You deserve a Mountain of Praise!!"
Then on the left hand side there was a lovely handwritten message.

This thoughtful, wonderful card was sent to me by my dear friend Carol.  Let me just say now, I adore her!!  I know her through church and I am so thankful God has blessed me with Carol as a friend!!

This card was a much needed pick-me-up this week, and I am so appreciative!

So should my dear friend read this - THANK YOU!!!! 

And to anyone (including myself) who has been contemplating sending off a note, a card or placing a call to someone to let them know what they mean to you or to offer them congratulations, thank you, an 'I miss you' or what have you, go ahead and do it!!  For all you know, it may be the bright spark someone is in need of receiving!!

It's time for dinner.

Is Opportunity Knocking?

Sometimes we are met with a road block - a trial, maybe something that seems either miserable or all together insurmountable.

My challenge for myself and for all of you reading today is, take that trial and turn it into an opportunity to show others, and more importantly, yourself'; just what you're capable of!!

Matthew 19:26

It's time to get this day on the move and go seize an opportunity!