It's that time again.. I can't beleive it.
2010 passed by so quickly and yet there were days I thought would never end.
2010 brought our first ladies retreat at church last January. It brought my first sucessful vegetable garden. A small car accident (but not a small bill to repair scratch!) I saw my niece get married this summer and made my first stacked wedding cake. It was one of the most wonderful summers I've ever had; made wonderful memories with my boys! We went on our first real family vacation. I saw my baby head off to Kindergarten and my older son went to 3rd grade. It was the year my Uncle Kenny went home to be with the Lord. My husband and I celebrated 10 years of wedded bliss! My Aunt Helen became unwell and now lives in a nursing home/rehab. It was the year I felt the Lord call me into ministry. I lost 40 pounds this year! There were ups, there were downs and lots of twists and turns.
Those of you who have read my blog for any time will remember that each year at this time I choose a word, or theme for the year ahead as opposed to making 'resolutions'. Before I write about 2011, I'd like to think back on my word for 2010. My word for 2010 was FIT. I wanted to 'fit' myself back into my life. I wanted to take myself off of the bottom of my to-do list. I ate better. Tracked my food on SparkPeople.com. I began to exercise (never thought I'd do that). I studied God's word on a more regular basis. I took some time, maybe not enough, but some time, for me.
So now it is time to unviel my word for this year. After thinking over exactly what I want in my mind for several weeks, God has finally delivered my word to me. ACTION! I want to be a woman of action. Woooow, that can sound.. suspect. Let me explain...
So often I think in my mind what I'd like to do. What I should do. What I could do. And yet, frequently, I do nothing at all.
I write lists that never get completed. I start projects that get left undone. I have so many people that I intend to write to and yet....
I've tried to figure out why I do, or rather, don't do these things and the best I can come up with is fear. Fear of failure, of not doing things 100% correct or maybe even just not as well as others.
Self talk ~ "I could write her a note but what if she isn't encouraged by it or what if she doesn't even know who I am?" (I wrote a note to a stranger years ago after hearing her father's prayer request on her behalf. She now goes to our church and she approached me on one of her first visits to thank me.) "I could try to write a children's book but what if it's no good and no one wants to publish it?" (Twelve publishers turned down J.K. Rowlings before one agreed to publish Harry Potter. Besides, shouldn't I at least give them the opportunity to refuse me?) "I feel called by the Lord to be a women's ministry speaker, but what if no one wants to hear me? What if they don't like me? Who am I to speak, I don't have a theology degree?" (Beth Moore doesn't have a degree in theology. Am I not short-changing God if I hear His call but think He doesn't know who He is calling?) "I could apply for that job but the hours probably wont work for our family or I'll most likely be terrible at it." (Who would have thought when I started a temp job when I was 24 that I would become a natural on computers and would then be promoted 3 times in 4 years? Why do I automatically think that I'll fail?)
God tells us in His word over 300 times to "Fear No", yet I've been choosing to disobey Him and fear. Why in the world do I choose the terrible feeling of fear and let it restrict my life rather than choose the security that as long as I'm living in His will He will provide? Silly, right? Right!
Also, the word action has come to me time and time again in studying scripture. In the early fall of this past year the Lord put a speaking topic on my heart having to do with action. If you say you're a Christian, you must take action! I have been writing my first retreat topic based on this. As I write it I find myself saying 'But who is going to want to hear it? You'll write it and then never share it." Wow - some seriously defeated self-talk hugh? Kinda pathetic!! If God is putting the topic of action on my heart, the person who most needs to let that take affect in their life is me!! How can I share it with others and not have it first take root in my own life? Action therefore for me means to stop being held back by fear and getting on with it; whatever the 'it' may happen to be at a certain time.
So this year I will take ACTION!
* I will continue to study and write the talks that the Lord has put on my heart knowing that He will show me when and where I am to share His inspiration. I will proceed with the calling the Lord has put on my heart and go into ministry as a women's speaker.
* I will write the children's stories that are in my mind. I will work on the illustrations and not worry if they will be good enough. They certainly wont be if I don't even try. I want to submit at least one book to a publisher this year.
* I will submit at least one devotional for publication. If God puts thoughts, stories into my mind that encourage me and some of the ladies from my church then I should see if He wishes them to encourage other Christians as well.
* I will put my body into action. I will continue to become a more active person. I will find physical activities the whole family can do together.
* I wont just think about tracking my food, I'll do it. Even when I don't want to admit to what I've eaten I will put it down to make myself more aware. Junk in, junk out - if I want to be active I need to feed my body well.
* I will make/buy cards and have stamps available so that when the Lord puts someone on my heart who needs a word of encouragement, I'll be ready to go. No excuses.
* In general, I will not be held back by fear. I will not be recklace, but I will go forth and live my life and not wait things out on the sideline. I'm getting in the game folks so hold on to your hats!!
Ready, set, ACTION!!