I'm Moving Now

A step in the right direction.
I have finally gotten back to exercise!  3 - 4 times a week for the past few weeks, about 2 miles each day with Leslie Sansone.  It's a start, a good start and I'm pleased.
I can already see my legs shaping up again (as much as these tree stumps can).  I have enormous legs, always have, always will.  It's just a matter if they are jumbo and jiggley or massive and muscular.  And since I love m&m's I'll shoot for the latter :)

My eating however, although improved still has far to go.  I'm finding on the days that I exercise that my appetite goes through the roof.  I would totally understand if I were training for a marathon, but for 2 miles it really shouldn't make much of a difference.  Still for the most part my choices are improving.

The hubs put the scale away some weeks back and at this point I'm leaving it there.  I think in another week or so I'll pull the monster thing out.

Looking back at pictures from last summer and fall while I was still on track I'm a little surprised at what I see.  I must stress, what I see.  I was eating well, exercising and the scale was going down yet as I look at the photos the words that go through my head are 'Man, even with 40 pounds gone look at how fat you still are!'  Wow! How sad.

I can recongnize that I look happy and I see health when I look into the face on the pictures; but the body... ugh!  And yet here I am with some of those pounds lost found again.  I battle in my mind how hard it was to lose that weight and yet I was (am) still so big.  I'm struggling to remind myself that my body just wasn't designed to be a small designer size, but it certainly was designed to be healthy and that's what I need to focus on.  Health not number (scale or clothes tag).

Hoping to keep my focus on health without worring about where that puts me on the number wheel at this time.  Sometimes I think the biggest battle I have is the image in my head, not the number on the scale.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Back at the beginning on last year I came up with some rewards for myself for pounds lost.  I earned a hair cut way back when but when there was time, there wasn't any money and when there was money, well.. you know how it goes.
Today I FINALLY got my hair cut.

BEFORE:

(my 8 year old took this picture for me)

AFTER:

(the hubs took this one for me)

It feels great to shred all of that hair!  Now to start shredding some serious weight again!!

A Season Past

I don't know if anyone out there will read this as I've been away so long.
But some of you have been kind enough to offer up prayers for my Aunt Helen and I wanted to let you know that she passed away last Tuesday.  Today we laid her to rest.  My dear sweet aunt hurts no more and is with her husband of 54 years once more.  Rest In Peace Aunt Helen!!

For the past 4 months I have spent 4 - 5 days a week (less on snow weeks) at the hospital and/or rehab visiting with my aunt.  It became my 'normal'.  What also became normal in this time was returning to my old ways; specifically, stress eating.
I have put weight back on and at the moment don't feel like I can abodon ship.  I so want to though.  Stress has become a constant as of late, I think it's that way on some level for many of us.  I need to not use it as an excuse.  I need to pray and give things to God instead of thinking I can eat my way peaceful :)

So readers, bear with me please as I try to get back on track and make my good health a priority.

Again, thank you for your prayers!!!

Weekly Ceck-In, yeah!

Well let me cut to the chase folks..
If my scale can be trusted, I lost 4 pounds this week!
It feels good to be on the down slope again!!

I need to get exercise back into my routine... but my life isn't really routine at the moment.
I'm continuing to run back and forth to visit my poor aunt.  She is going very slowly. She's fighting it for all she is worth; all 71 pounds of her.  She breaks my heart.

On a positive note, I've been rediscovering healthy foods I love.  No clever recipes to share at the moment, just yummy snacks like low fat peanut butter in celery and adding a wedge of Laughing Cow to my baked potato - yummmmm!!

Working on getting my water consumtion up again too. 

Ok - sorry, quick post this time.  IT's TIME to go volunteer at my son's school

Have a great day everyone!
Keep making good choices!!

Bellissimo!

It's amazing to me how when you stop eating.. you know, everything in sight, food tastes better.

When you are being selective about what you are eating and then taking the time to eat properly and not shovel it in as you do a hundred other things you allow yourself to actually experience the food.

You can savor each flavor...
explore each texture...

Taking the care to prepare fresh meals helps to give me a better appreciation for food.

Bellissimo!

Bacon!

I love me some bacon!!

I don't eat it though.  This is a massive trigger food for me!

If someone were to say to me at a brunch, "Would you like some bacon?"  My response would be, "Oh sure I'd love a little. You can just put a pound right here next to the pineapple, I'm eating light."

So in celebration of this yummy food that I must avoid, here's a little comedy clip about the scrumptious, salty treat.  There is some very mild language in this (almost not worth mentioning really).

I hope it gives all you bacon lovers a chuckle!!

Dear Self..

Dear Diane,

Good morning!  You're going to have a great day today!
Just a few days of being back on track and just look at how great you're doing and how amazing you are feeling.  Well done!  Allow yourself to feel good about these changes.

Continue to make good choices.  Think about nutrition when making your food choices, not just how to fit in a treat :)  Take the time to enjoy what you're eating and don't eat on the run.

Since you are still a little sick, make sure you take time to rest too and get to bed early tonight!

A word of warning, Nutella is not your friend!  This is a new weakness for you, put it to the back of the cabinet where you can get it when the kids want it but it will not be in the forefront to call and entice you with it's seductive chocolatey creaminess.  Enough said.

Remember, life is not a popularity contest!  It bears repeating, LIFE IS NOT A POPULARITY CONTEST!  Don't worry about what other people think of you.  As our dear friend Barbara once shared with us, 'It's none of my business what other people think of me.'

Don't neglect your blog, it helps keep you on track.  This too is not a popularity contest.  Write for yourself and if it encourages others, excellent!

You're doing great Diane!  Keep up the good work!!

Love,
Yourself